Emotional maturity

In the present situation of the pandemic, our emotions are running haywire.  Many of us cannot sleep, many are feeling some vague restlessness [arising out of old demons, old fears, insecurities], and very few are totally at peace. Those who have a strong sense of purpose  , and strong sense of making a difference in others' lives are the one's who have strong immunity and sleep the best!  For the rest of us mortals, the only solution is to follow social responsibility and hope for the best. In this situation, we need to have strong emotional maturity. What is Emotional Maturity ? Emotional maturity means being centered in yourself, not self centered.                                        Be responsive [not reactive],                      Be responsible ['I am responsible for everything that happens in my life'],                     Be resilient [spring back to action, have the ability to adapt to all circumstances].  Maturity is the ability to take responsibility

Marital bliss !!! Or, is it?

 People, especially us Indians, get married with a lot of hope and a song in the heart.  For years, the whole family has been nagging us to 'settle down', and we see a lot of dreams about what our life will be, post marriage. Then comes the grand wedding in which the whole town and relatives participate. Then, what ? For a lucky few, their dreams come true.  Married life turns out just dandy, they find love and companionship; their children turn out just perfect.  They manage to fulfil their unfulfilled aspirations through their children [for instance, if I wanted to be a dancer and could not afford it or was not good enough to become a performer, I will send my child to the best dance school............ and enjoy my dreams vicariously]. But for those whose partner turns out to be unloving, or unkind, life becomes drudgery.  They spend the rest of their lives trying to live down the past and take care of their children so that they grow up well adjusted, happy adults despite th

How to remove negative past memories from our consciousness

  Almost each one of us carries a heavy or subtle burden of negative events and happenings that have taken place in our life sometime in the past, either an immediate past or a far-off one; which reduce our present contentment levels , and ability to lead a peaceful life.  The negative past could be of any form – you experienced the loss of a close loved one due to a break-up or sudden death; you went through a serious physical illness or a very lean phase of financial loss, you were abused on a mental or physical level; you were not treated properly by a colleague at office and undue advantage was taken of you; you performed an inappropriate action and you repent up till now, even after many years have passed, and many such similar and different types of incidents.  Negativity sticks, while we forget many positive events :-( . * Modifying - A negative past event is modified into a positive, beneficial form and then stored in the consciousness. Typically,  this happens when we trea

Anticipatory anxiety for the hearing impaired

    Many people are undergoing anxiety or feeling that all is not well, nowadays. This anxiety relates to 3 major areas : 1. Health - either own health, or health of loved ones. 2. Loss - loss of job, loss of freedom to go anywhere at a moment's notice. 3. Daily routines have changed drastically. While all are worried about health, it relates more to worry about isolation.  Images of people dying alone have created a fear psychosis or an anticipatory anxiety.  We all worry about our loved ones having to cope up with isolation. In my case, the anticipatory anxiety relates to my eldest brother [Nagendran] who is hearing impaired.  👂 While he is pretty much independent, and is able to comprehend most things [ a magical ability given by God to the disabled, as they seem to be able to use all their abilities to a heightened level], these days there is an a